The Three Musketeers

Release Date: Oct 21, 2011  

Runtime: 1 hr. 42 min. 

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson 

Cast: Logan Lerman, Milla Jovovich, Matthew MacFadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Christoph Waltz, Juno Temple.

Another year, another remake. For what is surely the most heavily-adapted [and tiresome] tale ever to be written comes the current edition by Paul W.S. Anderson. With a brand new cast and 3-D innovation, "The Three Musketeers" looks to undergo a modern makeover fit for the 21st century. But face lifts and stylish upgrades are inadequate to make this any different from its past predecessors, let alone the floundering franchise known as "Pirates of the Caribbean." Out of the reputable Musketeers, Logan Lerman is probably the most recognizable ("Percy Jackson"), as he steps into the prominent role of young D'Artagnan. His cocky mannerism is justifiably delivered through teenage charm and wit; but his physical presence isn't enough to outshine a picture meant for visual thrills and kicks. Interestingly enough, Milla Jovovich takes center stage as the villainous spy, Milady, contrary to the title of the film. Anderson seems to still be living in his "Resident Evil" days as his priorities fall undividedly onto seeing his muse in action, whether it be versus the undead or swashbuckling foes. Moreover, Orlando Bloom as the corrupt Duke of Buckingham appears tawdry, for lack of better words, and bares resemblance to a certain captain named Jack. Nonetheless, "Musketeers" is less about the characters than about the spectacles. The full volume of sword fights and flying contraptions are enough to make your head spin, but maybe that's what's needed to erase this from memory. All for one and none for all.

Rating: 1 star