Lucy

Release Date: Jul 25, 2014 

Runtime: 1 hr. 28 min. 

Director: Luc Besson 

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Choi Min-Sik, Amr Waked.

It's often misconstrued that humans only use 10% of their brains...but that's all you'll really need to watch this mind-numbing excursion. From the man who brought us films such as "Léon: The Professional" and "The Fifth Element," comes a cerebral, sci-fi thriller that is far from believable. Scarlett Johansson stars as a woman living abroad, who gets duped into becoming a drug mule for a temperamental gangster. When she inadvertently absorbs the substance through a turn of events, she acquires powerful enhancements beyond human compulsion. It's another fantastical look at the seeds of evolution, but one that's unimaginative and all too familiar. Resembling the guise of "Limitless" and the abysmal "Transcendence," "Lucy" struggles to find novelty in a burgeoning spectrum. Contrary to appearance, the action is detracted, replaced by scientific theories and time manipulation. As Lucy grows stronger, the film grows weaker, as there's no viable threat to her infinite powers. Johansson, for her part, shows some moments of vulnerability but the supporting cast has little else to offer. Freeman's mainly there to speak his words of wisdom, while Choi Min-Sik as a villain is regretfully one dimensional. Through it all, plenty of philosophical questions are raised but not enough answered to keep it coherent. While Besson may get away with some neat visual attractions, it can't help save this muddled feature.

Rating: 1½ stars

Battleship

Release Date: May 18, 2012 

Runtime: 2 hr. 11 min. 

Director: Peter Berg 

Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Rihanna, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker.

Every summer, there are the conventional movie bombs. Some, more expected than others, due to poor conception, meager acting, or negative word-of-mouth. Unsurprisingly, "Battleship" is culpable of all three, and sinks rapidly before it even begins. Based on the board game of the same name, it's everything you'd expect from a subpar origin. Explosions and special effects overhaul a baseless script, along with dialogue that's C-level at best. While it has the inner workings of a Roland Emmerich film, and the visual juxtaposition of Michael Bay, it is neither here nor there in terms of entertainment value. Despite a runtime of over 2 hours, "Battleship" doesn't really live up to its name until the end, during which time the actual interaction of the game is introduced. It's those brief 10 minutes or so that the film redeems itself, but only by way of familiarity. The cast fairs no better, combining the absent talents of newcomer Rihanna with the usually dependable Liam Neeson, who hardly has any part in the action whatsoever. But then again, if it were up to him, he would have taken out the aliens with his own special skill set, and there would be no movie to begin with. Sadly, that isn't the case, and Rihanna's still acting. One can just hope that there will be no sequels on the horizon.

Rating: 1½ stars

Cowboys & Aliens

Release Date: Jul 29, 2011 

Runtime: 1 hr. 58 min. 

Director: Jon Favreau 

Cast: Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano.

Genres mash-up when the Wild, Wild West meets outer space in Jon Favreau's follow-up project to the mega-success of "Iron Man." Based on a graphic novel of the same title, "Cowboys & Aliens" initially sounds like a rollicking good time, with big stars and an interesting premise. But a thin script and slack dialogue are just a few of many that make this summer blockbuster a humdrum saddle ride through the desert. Does it deliver on its namesake? Sure. There are plenty of cowboys shooting guns and aliens causing mayhem, exactly what you can expect from such a setup. Even Harrison Ford gets in on the action with his glowers and retribution, while the rest of the cast is solid in playing their parts. But with all said and done, the film never really goes any place special, and it takes awhile to gain momentum despite being a western. Halfway through the story feels like a complete synopsis, and only then is it revealed that the reasoning behind the invasion is little more than illogical. Rarely suspenseful or purposely droll, “Cowboys & Aliens” doesn’t go beyond what’s required, and it’s a shame because it could have had potential as a newly shaped genre. By any means, Favreau has already proven in the past that he can do great things when it comes to comic books. This just wasn’t one of them.

Rating: 1½ stars

Bad Teacher

Release Date: Jun 24, 2011

Runtime: 1 hr. 29 min.

Director: Jake Kasdan 

Cast: Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Jason Segel, Lucy Punch, John Michael Higgins.  

In addition to action-packed movies each summer, sleeper comedies are a favorite to watch for, especially those that can push the boundaries and broach the unexpected. Like what “Bad Santa” did to holiday pastimes, “Bad Teacher” attempts to do with the educational system, placing Cameron Diaz in the role of an irreverent instructor who sidelines as a gold-digger. But a foul-mouth and dirty jokes can only go so far in a comedy that still comes short of humor. The problem lies within the likability of the cast. Though not new to the genre, Diaz never reaches beyond what her role necessitates, and her snarky remarks come off as a person having a bad day rather than a personality trait. Similarly, her alleged opponent, played by Lucy Punch, fairs no better and somehow manages to be more obnoxious than she really should be. To cause even more friction between the two is Justin Timberlake, who plays a substitute teacher with a wealthy inheritance. Despite his romantic past with Diaz, the chemistry is surprisingly non-existent and leads to awkward moments that are better left off screen. Thankfully, Jason Segel is there to save the day, as the modest gym teacher and source for amusement. Without him, the comedy could have done far worse, and simply passing seems like the better option.

Rating: 1½ stars

 

The Tourist

Release Date: Dec 10, 2010 

Runtime: 1 hr. 43 min. 

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck 

Cast: Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Steven Berkoff.

Espionage and deceit. Jolie and Depp. What should have been the makings of a great action thriller is, instead, a dull train ride with little to no surprise or suspense. Acting as a remake for the French film, “Anthony Zimmer,” “The Tourist” starts off with intrigue but doesn’t quite find the momentum it needs to build a story worth viewing. Though the two stars seemed destined to be together on screen, the chemistry comes off as halfhearted and expedited, even against the scenic backdrops of Paris and Venice. The sluggish action and flat script further weaken the plot, which unfolds at a snail’s pace and misses the ‘a-ha’ factor when it finally reveals the twist. Predictable in nature and deficient in humor, you’re better off watching its distant counterpart, “Knight and Day.”

Rating: 1½ stars

Valentine's Day

Release Date: Feb 12, 2010 

Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min. 

Director: Garry Marshall 

Cast: Julia Roberts, Emma Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Shirley MacLaine, Kathy Bates, Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Topher Grace, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, George Lopez, Queen Latifah, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift.

Take every cliché about love, over a dozen A-list actors and you get an unoriginal rom-com appropriately titled "Valentine's Day." So where does any movie with such a star-studded cast go wrong? The plot lines become thin, stories uninspired and you get a bevy of attractive people whose fate seems to rely heavily on this aforementioned day. It's 'cute' and enjoyable for the female crowd but it lacks an intelligence that "Love Actually" so successfully obtained through a similar formula. Director Garry Marshall doesn't quite bring his A-game like he's done in the past with "Pretty Woman" or even "The Princess Diaries." As a result, you're left with another sappy movie that only garners attention to the cast and not to the theme of love. Let's hope "New Year's Eve" proves differently but I highly doubt it. 

Rating: 1½ stars

Daybreakers

Release Date: Jan 08, 2010 

Runtime: 1 hr. 38 min. 

Director: Peter Spierig, Michael Spierig 

Cast: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill, Claudia Karvan, Michael Dorman, Vince Colosimo.

If there is one way of capitalizing on the vampire genre for the grown-up audience, it's making a film that's the very antithesis of "Twilight" and turning everyone into bloodsuckers. This is the case, in the year 2019, when everyone has tiny, yellow irises and are jonesing for hemo-spiked coffee. The human population is dwindling and only Ethan Hawke, a researcher, can save our race from extinction. And you thought you had it bad at work. Though the premise is intriguing and traveling beyond typical vampire stories, the substantial plot-holes outweigh any good. There is no in-depth explanation as to how everyone came to be night-dwellers or why this supposed 'cure' works the way it does. There's also a fine difference between being tasteful and being kitschy when it comes to hardcore gore, the film falling into the latter part. After all the cheap scare tactics and bloody appendages, the story abruptly ends with what could be discerned as a setup for a sequel. Or just the end product of the filmmakers being too lazy to finish the script. Either way, I need a long-needed break from fangs or anyone named Edward. 

Rating: 1½ stars

Jennifer's Body

Release Date: Sep 18, 2009 

Runtime: 1 hr. 42 min. 

Director: Karyn Kusama 

Cast: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody, Sal Cortez.

After writing the Oscar-winning screenplay for “Juno,” I’m sure there was a great amount of pressure on Diablo Cody to produce a decent follow-up. Unfortunately, the pressure seems to have gotten the best of her, giving us a rather flat horror-comedy. This genre is especially tough to convey successfully as seen in past years. While the story appears dark and twisted, Cody struggles to find a balance between providing enough laughs and scare tactics. Megan Fox, as the titular character Jennifer, tries to prove she has more to offer than looks alone, but fails through pouts and vacant expressions. Still, I give Cody credit for doing a cynical take on feminine power and female relationships. It just wasn’t enough to top a pregnant teen with a sarcastic mouth. 

Rating: 1½ stars

Push

Release Date: Feb 06, 2009 
Runtime: 1 hr. 51 min.

Director: Paul McGuigan  

Cast: Dakota Fanning, Djimon Hounsou, Chris Evans, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis.

An expected failure of a film that doesn't go beyond offering what's in the trailer. The so-called 'names' for each group of gifted beings were questionable, as well as the way they performed these powers. The story was disconnected and confusing towards the end. There was also a lack of, if any, character introduction and development. It's comparable to "Jumper" with the only difference being slightly better acting. The best part that deserves some form of credit: Dakota acting drunk.

Rating: 1½ stars

88 Minutes

Release Date: Apr 18, 2008 

Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min. 

Director: Jon Avnet 

Cast: Al Pacino, Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Amy Brenneman, William Forsythe.

Even Al Pacino couldn't save this film from deteriorating after the first half. While it had a similar feel to "The Game", it lacked the components of building up suspense. There were too many elements contributing to the '88 minutes' and by the end of the film, I didn't really care who the killer was. The acting was second-rate.
 

Rating: 1½ stars

Jumper

 

Release Date: Feb 14, 2008

Runtime: 1 hr. 30 min. 

Director: Doug Liman 

Cast: Hayden Christensen, Jamie Bell, Samuel Jackson, Rachel Bilson, Diane Lane.

From the start I knew this was going to be one of those great concept films with no backbone. The positive was that the action sequences were fun to watch. Who wouldn't want to teleport anywhere? As for the negatives, the acting was appalling by every character. The plot was incoherent and there seemed to be no good reason for the film itself. Sam Jackson's character constantly bringing religion into the picture seemed arbitrary and unnecessary. But don't worry, the end (if that's what they call it) comes a lot sooner than you think. 

Rating: 1½ stars