Battleship

Release Date: May 18, 2012 

Runtime: 2 hr. 11 min. 

Director: Peter Berg 

Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Rihanna, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker.

Every summer, there are the conventional movie bombs. Some, more expected than others, due to poor conception, meager acting, or negative word-of-mouth. Unsurprisingly, "Battleship" is culpable of all three, and sinks rapidly before it even begins. Based on the board game of the same name, it's everything you'd expect from a subpar origin. Explosions and special effects overhaul a baseless script, along with dialogue that's C-level at best. While it has the inner workings of a Roland Emmerich film, and the visual juxtaposition of Michael Bay, it is neither here nor there in terms of entertainment value. Despite a runtime of over 2 hours, "Battleship" doesn't really live up to its name until the end, during which time the actual interaction of the game is introduced. It's those brief 10 minutes or so that the film redeems itself, but only by way of familiarity. The cast fairs no better, combining the absent talents of newcomer Rihanna with the usually dependable Liam Neeson, who hardly has any part in the action whatsoever. But then again, if it were up to him, he would have taken out the aliens with his own special skill set, and there would be no movie to begin with. Sadly, that isn't the case, and Rihanna's still acting. One can just hope that there will be no sequels on the horizon.

Rating: 1½ stars